The Upright Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- Bates gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
90%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.