The Wide Left Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Bates attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
78%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.