The Late Scratch Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Bates's stadium. Only over Bates.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Bates makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
79%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bates's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.