The Snap Count Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Bates kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
75%POTENCY
-19.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.