The Late Scratch Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
80%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bates's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.