The Upright Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
74%POTENCY
-12.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.