The Snap Count Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
83%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single tear from a Cowboys fan
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Allen drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.