The Inch-Short Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen tears an uncatchable ball out of the air and... steps out of bounds. By a toe.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
73%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single tear from a Lions fan
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Allen, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.