The Phantom Holding Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- The QB looks at Allen exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
- Allen gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
74%POTENCY
-10.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.