The Inch-Short Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen's coach discovers the run game at the exact moment Allen was due a breakout.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
86%POTENCY
-17.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.