The Inch-Short Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
74%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single tear from a Steelers fan
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Eye of Saints, tongue of ref,
Bring 49ers down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.