The Shadow Coverage Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
81%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single tear from a Chiefs fan
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.