The Late Scratch Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
83%POTENCY
-18.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Allen's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.