The Hamstring Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Allen's stadium. Only over Allen.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
74%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Allen's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.