The Inch-Short Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Evans's stadium. Only over Evans.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- At 33, Evans is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Evans will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
74%POTENCY
-13.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Evans's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.