The Late Scratch Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“Evans will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- Evans is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- At 33, Evans is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
73%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Steelers locker room
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Evans's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.