The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Zachariah Branch
Zachariah Branch · ATL · WR
“Branch finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Branch's week
- Rookie Branch gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Branch goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
77%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A used challenge flag
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Eye of Vikings, tongue of ref,
Bring Falcons down to grief,
Branch scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Bijan Robinson
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Zachariah Branch in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zachariah Branch is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zachariah Branch actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.