The Hamstring Hex of Zachariah Branch
Zachariah Branch · ATL · WR
“Branch is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Branch's week
- Rookie Branch gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Branch does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
81%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Branch, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Bijan Robinson
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Zachariah Branch in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zachariah Branch is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zachariah Branch actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.