The Doink Hex of Zane Gonzalez
Zane Gonzalez · MIA · K
“The broadcast shows Gonzalez on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Gonzalez's week
- Gonzalez sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Gonzalez finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
72%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Chiefs jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Gonzalez's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
- Evan McPherson
- Andy Borregales
- Kaytron Allen
FAQ
How do I curse Zane Gonzalez in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zane Gonzalez is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zane Gonzalez actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.