Curse the Chicago Bears: fantasy football hexes for every player

The Bears defense

The Blown Coverage Hex of Chicago Bears

The Bears defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.

Bears players

The Checkdown Hex of Caleb Williams

QB Williams will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.

The Snap Count Hex of Colston Loveland

TE Loveland goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.

The Phantom Holding Hex of Luther Burden III

WR Burden III is already "Questionable" with that undisclosed. The witch only has to push gently.

The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of D'Andre Swift

RB Swift sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.

The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Kyle Monangai

RB Monangai gets the ball 4 times inside the 10. The pylon, however, is fine.

The Dropped Pass Hex of Rome Odunze

WR Odunze is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.

The Late Scratch Hex of Cairo Santos

K Santos warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.

The Checkdown Hex of Miller Moss

QB Moss's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.

The Mystery Tweak Hex of Zavion Thomas

WR Thomas goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.

FAQ

Which Bears players should I curse in fantasy football?

The most fantasy-relevant Bears right now are Caleb Williams, Colston Loveland, Luther Burden III. Each has a custom hex on this page.

Can I curse my opponent's Bears player?

Yes. Enter your Sleeper username (or ESPN league ID) and Fantasy Witch picks the best victim from your opponent's real lineup, Bears included.