Curse the Houston Texans: fantasy football hexes for every player

The Texans defense

The Snap Count Hex of Houston Texans

The Texans defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.

Texans players

The Mystery Tweak Hex of Nico Collins

WR Collins will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.

The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of David Montgomery

RB Montgomery is already "Questionable" with that groin. The witch only has to push gently.

The Phantom Flag Hex of Marvin Harrison Jr.

WR Harrison Jr. drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.

The Hamstring Hex of Dalton Schultz

TE Schultz spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.

The Sack Spiral Hex of C.J. Stroud

QB Stroud will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.

The Toe-Out-of-Bounds Hex of Woody Marks

RB Marks is already "Questionable" with that knee. The witch only has to push gently.

The Wind Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn

K Fairbairn gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.

The Snap Count Hex of Kayshon Boutte

WR A mysterious flag erases Boutte's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.

The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Tank Dell

WR Dell drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.

FAQ

Which Texans players should I curse in fantasy football?

The most fantasy-relevant Texans right now are Nico Collins, David Montgomery, Marvin Harrison Jr.. Each has a custom hex on this page.

Can I curse my opponent's Texans player?

Yes. Enter your Sleeper username (or ESPN league ID) and Fantasy Witch picks the best victim from your opponent's real lineup, Texans included.